If you’ve been in and out of jail for 15 years, then you probably need to come up with some more inventive crimes so you don’t keep getting thrown back into the slammer for the same ones – that’s just embarrassing.
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39 year old Kiwi Shane Reid has done exactly that by coming up with one of the most original crimes I think I’ve ever heard of. Reid is said to be obsessed with fire and has been found guilty of arson and imprisoned many times during the last 15 years, but he wanted to do something different for his latest crime.
He was walking down the street when he noticed an elderly partially sighted 91 year old woman coming in the opposite direction. Instead of getting out of the way like a normal person would, Reid instead walked alongisde her before slamming her in the hip with his elbow. She tripped and fell into the gutter and then Reid proceeded to bray like a donkey for a few minutes whilst she struggled to get up.
He was eventually arrested for the incident, but whilst on bail he tried to burn down a school classroom, as you do. Apparently he was walking around the school close to midnight (don’t ask) when he noticed a hole in one of the walls of the classrooms.
Reid decided to put a candle in said hole and set it on fire and watch it burn. Once it burned out he placed another candle in the hole and did the same, and then on the third candle, when Reid saw smoke from the building he decided to call the police and hand himself in. Lucky he had all those candles on him eh? Weirdo.
The judge presiding over the case found him guilty of both of the crimes mentioned in this article and he’ll be sentenced on March 6th next year. It’s his fifth conviction for arson and interestingly they’ve all involved him burning down schools, with cops speculating that this is a reaction to the relentless bullying he faced during his time in the education system. It could be you know.
For more donkeys, check out this video that explains why you should never try and ride a horny donkey. It’s a pretty simple reason why.